Our Story

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, I had a crush on a little boy. The year was 1998 and it was summer. The R family was doing their CFOT summer appointment in PG, BC. They had 4 sons and the second youngest was extremely cute, it must be said. He had an exquisite mushroom cut and frequently wore sweatpants. Below is a picture from said summer.

As I said, I had a massive crush on little B. He was funny, cute, handsome and also good looking. You know...for a 9 year old. We played together nearly every day for that entire summer. He doesn't really remember me too much, but I remember the snot out of him. For instance, one day I was trying to impress him so I picked up a handful of daddy long legs spiders because I thought boys liked bugs. Years later I was to discover that he hates spiders and always has. One day we were playing tag and he caught me and kinda lunged at me and his arms sorta went around me. I consider that to have been kind of a hug. Romance. Sigh. At the end of the summer he left, but I kept his name in all my MASHes because was the boy of my dreams. In fact, he remained a staple in many of my MASHes for years to come.

In 2003 we moved to SK and I went to camp and there he was, my long lost crush. He was considerably more grown up. Gone was the mushroom cut. In it's place was a shaggy mane and a pretty impressive beard for a 14 year old. My crush reignited immediately. My dad brought me over to B's mom and she asked if I remember B and I lied and said 'no' because I didn't want them to think I had a crush on him. B was asked if he remember me and he lied and said 'yes' because he didn't want to be rude.

Over the next few years we became best friends. We talked and joked all the time and it was grand. He was so funny and I loved that even if we'd never date, I could still be his buddy. And buddies were all I thought we were destined to be. It's never a good sign when a guy says the following:
You're like a dude with boobs.
You're more like a brother.
Kiss. Of. Death. You've just entered The Friend Zone. All my romantic notions flew out the window and I focused my attentions on a different boy.

My best friend started 'dating' B. It wasn't a real girlfriend/boyfriend relationship as she was not allowed to date. So they hung out a lot all summer and I was happy to be their third wheel. Despite the fact that I 'liked' another boy, it's obvious when reviewing the evidence that I was still head over heels for B. I blushed around him, I was desperate to make him laugh and I probably thought about him more than I should have.

Eventually things ended between them and they ended badly. I knew that in that time he needed a friend more than ever so I began work on not liking him and simply being there for him. Not liking him was extremely difficult to do though. He was so cute and funny and he liked talking to me. Finally when I really made the decision that I needed to get over him, a few friends helped to steer us both in the right direction and on May 26, 2007, he told me he liked me. And I was over the moon. I couldn't stop smiling EVER.

He came to my grad in June and I was so excited to point him out to a few of my classmates from backstage. We spent our evenings watching TV downstairs, sitting really close to each other but not holding hands and not really sure what to do. It was fun just talking though. A couple days later we went to camp and thus REALLY began our romance.

Things got going at Music Camp. B held my hand for the first time and from a mixture or nerves and being ill that week, I had to throw up. One night after I'd hardly eaten all day because I wasn't well and the food wasn't my style, B went into the kitchen and made me mac and cheese. At the end of the week, B asked my parents for permission to date me in an EXTREMELY public and EXTREMELY hilarious way. And on 07/07/07 at 7:00 pm we went on our first date (Transformers).

One week later we had our first kiss and it was perfect. We'd been sitting on a friend's couch and were talking about how sometimes I'd get stuck smiling, I was so happy and he said he knew of another way to get me stuck and then he kissed me. Again, I have to say, it was perfect.

We dated all summer (and I'd like to point out that every single day all summer he put a chocolate in my mailbox) and came to the point where we had to make a decision regarding our future. The choices were: 1. Break up 2. Go long distance 3. He moves to GP with me. In the end we decided that it was up to God. If He found a way for things to work out, then B would come to GP with me. And things worked out beautifully. First, B found a ride to Pine Lake. Then, my parents happened to have an extra van with them to transport his stuff. If they hadn't had that, we would have been in trouble. Then, we found out that a friend in GP needed a roommate. Everything fell into place and we knew that it was the right decision. We moved to GP and continued the romance.

I knew during the summer that I was going to marry B. We continued building our relationship over the next few years, always having the goal of marriage in our minds. On February 12, 2010 he proposed. He made me a roast beef dinner, bought plastic wine goblets and lit candles. I was completely shocked when he got down on one knee because my dad had said we couldn't get engaged until B finished high school and he hadn't yet (he would about a month later). I said "Are you kidding?" and he said "No" and then I said, "Yes!" We were engaged and it felt ridiculously good.

September that same year, we got married in a wedding that was completely us. I love B so much and I'm so thankful to be married to my best friend. I think we have a wonderful story and I'm really excited to be adding to it everyday.

Marriage

I've been married for over two years now, so obviously I'm incredibly qualified to give marriage advice. So below the picture will be my tips for staying happy and in love.

1. Pray for each other.
Being a Christian myself, it was important that I find a husband who also loves God. I've never been comfortable praying in front of people or aloud, but B and I are both fully aware that if we need someone to lean on spiritually, we can lean on one another. If I need help, I ask him to pray for me and vice versa. Of course I always pray for him anyways and I know he does the same for me. Keeping God in our lives is important. We're thinking of starting up some devotions together soon as well (we were given 3 couples devo books for our wedding).

2. Have fun!
B and I are almost always having a good time. Whether we're singing a dumb song in each others faces or playing a video game together or dancing around the living room or just pestering each other we are making sure to have fun. I can talk to him so easily and the jokes are always flying and I just think it's great. It's so important to be best friends with your spouse so that you CAN have a good time with them quite effortlessly.

3. Make plans.
While B and I do spend a lot of time together, especially right now while he's on parental leave, we still make sure to plan times where we specifically do something just the two of us. Whether it's going to a movie, playing a video game or watching a movie at home, we make those plans. B likes to play video games online with his friends and sometimes I just want to watch TV so there are a lot of times when we're not hanging with one another though we're in the same room. Just because you see someone all the time doesn't mean you're actually spending time with the person. B and I are good at making time for one another, and that's just as it should be.

4. Talk to each other, darnit.
We ALWAYS talk about EVERYTHING. With the exception of things that other people have told me in strict confidence, I have literally told B EVERY SINGLE THING about me. I have no secrets from him regarding myself and my life. He knows every detail. And he always will because we are constantly talking to one another. One of the greatest pieces of advice out there is to never go to bed angry and I agree with that whole heartedly. I went to bed angry at B once and I hardly slept at all, it was so tense. I will never do that again. The next day I told him exactly why I was upset and we talked it through and sorted things out. Anytime I am upset with him or with something else, I tell him. He is not psychic. If I'm experiencing a mood swing I tell him. If I wake up grumpy I tell him. It's not fair to the other person to be snapped at for something that isn't their fault. And B does the same; when he's upset he tells me. We talk everything through and we help one another feel better. Because of this policy we have, we never fight or argue over important things. Tiny silly arguments may occur, but we have never raised voices or stormed off in anger.

5. Be thoughtful.
B is seriously the most thoughtful man on the planet. He always buys me the most insanely thoughtful gifts, he likes to surprise me with treats, he is always mindful of my social limitations and is there for me when I need him to help me. I was incredibly selfish before we got together and since being with B, my life has changed. I WANT to thoughtful for him. I WANT to make his life easier and more special. And that's how it should be in a marriage.

6. Don't lose yourselves when you have a kid.
Our lives revolve around G now, but we have been careful not to lose who we are amid the baby stuff. G is so important to us, but we also are important to each other. We make the time when she's asleep to do something together that we used to do before she was born. We'll watch a movie or play a game or just talk or do...mommy and daddy activites (if ya know what I mean). I think a lot of times marriages get lost a bit when the baby comes. It's vital that you keep sight of each other and not just the baby.

I think that's it for now. I'll probably think of more later. In the meantime I'd just like to say that I love my husband's face off.

The below picture was taken the day after we became engaged.

Childhood 1

I can't believe how much G looks like me sometimes. (That's me up there, btw)

Thus begins a series of childhood stories and memories. They're in no particular order and don't necessarily have any morals to them. I just wanted to write them down and share them because I was a weird kid.

1. I thought that ballet was balancing stuff on your head. When I was about 2 I would walk around the house singing, "Beautiful ballet" with something on my head. Usually it was my Beauty and the Beast lunchbox. I was an elegant ballerina.

2. When I was around 4 or 5, I was certain that Edmonton was an island. My aunt and uncle lived there and I always pictured it in my head as an island off the east coast of Canada.

3. Every Christmas from birth until I was about 10 years old, we stayed at my Grandma and Poppa's. They were Officers stationed at an old folks home and their quarters was attached to the home. Every Christmas morning we would wake up, open our stockings and then everyone (there was usually about 15 or so) would don Santa hats and in our jammies we'd walk over to the old folks home. Someone would push a shopping cart full of stockings, my Poppa would dress as Santa and we'd go caroling through the halls, knocking on each door to give each elderly person a Christmas stocking and some good cheer. What a fantastic way to spend Christmas morning! A bonus: One year, when my sister was probably 1 or 2, she refused to wear her Santa hat so I said I'd hold it for her. Well this turned out good for me because old people started putting money in the hat! I ended up with about $15 in total. SCORE.

And so ends edition one of this series. I can't wait til G has weird and awesome stories of her own one day.

Moving

Sometime in the spring or early summer (if all goes well) we're hoping to move back to Saskatoon. MJ is a really nice small city and I do love it here in general but there are a few reasons to move back.

1. We can't live with B's parents anymore. They're wonderful people but moving in with one's parents after one is an adult is hard. Word of advice to everyone: NEVER MOVE BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS. I'm sure we'd have the same issue if it were my parents.

2. We don't know anyone here and I don't know how to meet people. Our social place is the church and it's all old people there. We need friends our own age. We especially need to know people who have children the same age as our own child. G needs friends! I'm determined that she not be shy like me. I wasn't too shy when I was little (believe it or not). We need to set down roots in a place where we can be assured that G won't be lonely.

I've moved a lot in my life. I was born in Burnaby, BC. I lived in Burnaby, Coquitlam, Vancouver, Surrey, Prince George, Toronto, Maple Creek, Grande Prairie, Saskatoon, and Moose Jaw. I have never in my life lived anywhere longer than 4 years. I'm hoping that this move sticks. I don't want to be moving G around for her whole life. It's hard on a kid. I'm positive that it's the constant moving that has damaged my social skills.

I actually signed onto here planning to write a post about something entirely different but I was reminded of our (hopefully!) impending move and thus was moved to write this.

Breastfeeding Rant

Obviously this post is about breastfeeding. It's a controversial subject, but it shouldn't be. I have certain thoughts on the topic and they are:

1. I don't want to see your boob. It's a natural thing, I agree, but I don't want to see your boob. It's not inconvenient to grab a hooter hider or a tittie tent or whatever you want to call it. Or even a receiving blanket. In your own home yeah, let it all hang out, Lady. I sure did. But I didn't want strangers peeking at my tatas so I hid them when I was out in public. I think if you really really don't care, and want to breastfeed with out covering up, then you give up your right to complain when people are rude or invasive. That doesn't mean they should be rude or invasive. I would NEVER even CONSIDER telling off someone for breastfeeding uncovered. It's not called for, it's not my business.

2. I think every woman should at least try it. I've heard about some women who decide before the baby is born that they're not going to breastfeed because it will sag their boobs and take up too much of their time. I think that's silly. Breastfeeding's good for the baby and it's good for the mommy, too. I loved breastfeeding my little baby. It's an amazing bonding experience and it feels to cool to know that your body alone can feed that wee little life.

3. If a woman chooses not to breastfeed or cannot breastfeed, leave her the heck alone. I breastfed for just about 2 months. I would have kept going for much longer than that but I honestly couldn't. I felt like a failure at first, but G's health was more important. She wasn't gaining enough weight so we had to start supplementing, because I wasn't producing enough milk. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't fill the poor thing up. Eventually I just dried right up. She's on formula full time and is getting beautifully chubby and she's healthy as a horse and on the way to being a normal child. You're NOT a failure if you can't breastfeed. You're not a bad mom if you CHOOSE not to breastfeed. You're doing what you feel is best for your child and what's best for you. Mom's are important too, and you can't lose yourself in your child.

I brought this topic up because as my trip to BC approaches I'm getting a little nervous. My aunt (who is 5 years older than me) has a one year old and she is a strong advocate for breastfeeding. I'm nervous that when she sees me formula feeding G, she'll say something or think poorly of me. If she does say something I will absolutely stand up for myself. I don't REALLY think she'll say anything, but there's always that possibility.

Look at this happy little formula fed creature:

That's about it for now. Gotta go get some more computer time in before G starts complaining. More later!

Bandwagon Jumping!

I read two fantastic blogs today about the trials and tribulations of maintaining a healthy body weight. I am now going to jump onto that bandwagon and talk about my own body image.

The above picture is from 2006, when I was 17. Look at those skinny legs and lack of multiple chins. I was wearing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and I felt pretty good. My high school and middle school years were not ever ones of depression regarding my looks (well, sort of, but that's a story for another day because it has more to do with love than weight). I knew I wasn't the best looking kid but that I wasn't the worst. Another picture from around that time:

I wish I had better photos, hahaha. Anyways, I was probably at about 120 in these photos which is the ideal weight for my height (5.1). Then I started dating B and we moved to GP and suddenly we both started gaining weight like it was nobody's business. We ate out. All. The. Time. And it showed, particularly on me. I had to chuck out so many clothes.

2007:

By the time of our wedding I was at my heaviest, somewhere in between 179 and 180. I didn't even try to lost weight for the wedding. It would have meant a dress alteration I couldn't afford, and it would have been stressful on top of the stress I was already feeling. I had a very difficult time preparing for my wedding (despite its simplicity). At that time of my life though, even though I was quite overweight, I felt good about myself. I was happy and married and in love and starting a grown up life away from my mom and dad.

Then I got knocked up!

I felt SO good during pregnancy. I lost 20 pounds (because of morning sickness), I was eating healthier, my hair was gorgeous and I was just happy happy happy. When G was born I weighed about 150, my lowest in years. I've gone back up to 166.6 (just checked, hahaha), but as long as I don't break the 170 barrier I'm going to feel pretty good.

I'm not a fool. Christmas is coming and I have no self control when it comes to turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy. My new year resolution therefore, will be to get down to 130 if possible in 2013. I think it's attainable if I stick to my guns. No more chips all the time! Avoid the call of McDonalds! Actually use the bloody Wii Fit! (seriously, the wii fit WORKS. I dropped a couple pounds last week using that thing). I can't do even one push up right now. This time next year I gotta be able to top that.

The reason I'm wanting to change things now is simple. My family. B doesn't care what I look like. The extra flab, the stretch marks and that extra chin that likes to hang out on my face are just parts of me that he loves. G doesn't care what I look like. She just cares that i get that bottle to her on time. I want to lose weight so that I can chase after G. I want to lose weight so that B and I can bring more physical activities into our lives like walking and going to the park. I love those two and I want to be healthy and fit for them.

Two of my cousins got the MyFitnessPal app on their phones, and they have lost so much weight on that program, but are both obviously healthy having done so. They look phenomenal. It's calorie counting, but it does the work for me. And it keeps track of my exercising as well. I'm looking forward to using it.

Now. I'm off to write another post about a subject that drives me CRAZY. See ya!

Christmas is Coming!

Above is a picture from one of my earlier Christmases. I was 2 years old it was a very special Christmas because both I got to spend it with all three of my grandparents! We lived in Burnaby at the time and so it was very easy to go spend a few days with my Grandma and Poppa in Vancouver, but that year my Grandma from Winnipeg came too and so did my cousin Eleanor - who also had a baby this year :D (Below is a picture of Eleanor and I, but about a year earlier)

Our first Christmas as a married couple was spent quietly alone in Saskatoon (though we did have friends over on Boxing Day for turkey which was nice!). Having our first Christmas just the two of us was so special. We opened presents in bed, nice and cozy, and just kinda hung out with no obligations. Our second Christmas was spent with B's parents and brother in MJ and it wasn't the best, mainly because I had morning sickness like CRAZY. I threw up twice before we opened presents in the morning and it was a miracle that i held down what little turkey I was able to eat. It was nice to be able to spend the holiday with B's family though.

Back in the GP days B spent a couple Christmases with my family, which was really nice. He was accepted into my family as soon as we started dating which was so great. A couple of times he was able to make it to Ontario to be with his family, but I never went with him so last year was my first time with them.

This year we're heading to BC to be with my family! I'm ridiculously excited. Not just because I get to see my parents and siblings, but because also visiting will be:

Grandma and Poppa! They live in Langley and I haven't seen them since my wedding. I love them SO much and I'm beyond excited to see them. My Grandma is one of my personal heroes for several reasons and I can't wait to watch her snuggle my little baby, singing all the old lullabies she used to sing to me.

Bev and Pierre! My mom's sister and her husband of 3 years are coming from Hong Kong! I've never met Pierre, and I haven't seen my aunt since 2009, so it's super awesome that they're making the trip.

Kim and Darryl! My mom's second sister, her husband and their 4 kids! Cole is 12, Sydney is 8(I think, hahaha), and Peyton and Kenya are both 5 (twins!). I haven't seen the twins since they were about a year old so it's been a while! Little cousins are so much fun.

Gary and Megan! My mom's baby brother and his wife of 3 years and their 1 year old girl, Shalome. I haven't met little Shalome yet, so that will be so cool and it will be very cute to see her interact with G.

In addition, we get to check out my parents' new house for the first time, attend their new church for the first time and meet Philip's GIRLFRIEND. Excitement!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS. It's the most wonderful time of the year, seriously. And having G is just making everything so utterly magical and fun!

I hope everyone else has a really FANTASTIC Christmas!

Bodily Functions

G puked in my mouth.

It started off so innocently. She was sleepy, and I was cradling her in my loving arms, looking into those pretty eyes. I bent over to kiss her, something I frequently do because she is so darn kissable. And she ups and pukes and it goes into my mouth.

I was fully expecting this to happen one day, but not in this way. I was picturing it happening when I lifted her above my head or something like that, but nope. We have a weird baby and she decided to do it in her own special way.

Earlier today I was trying to get her to take a nap in my bed with me, an irregular occurrence as we don't want to encourage the habit. I spread out her receiving blanky, put her down and I snuggled in under the covers with her. She refused to sleep. She thrashed and kicked and whined and eventually after about thirty minutes of this I gave up any hope of catching a nap. I propped her up against B's pillow and put on my movie and played with her. While responding to a text on my ipod I realized she was quiet. Too quiet. I looked over and she was grunting her little bottom off, turning beat red and obviously pooping. The instant she was done dropping her load, she shut her eyes and fell asleep. Timing is not this kid's forte, people.

Hopefully she learns to get this stuff under control soon or I feel like I'll never be wearing clean clothes again. Everything I own gets puked, peed and drooled on. I'll put on a sweater before going out, and halfway out the door suddenly realize that there's a huge drool mark on the shoulder. B, meanwhile, never gets a drop of anything on him. G saves it all for her Mama. If it means she loves me though, I'll take it.

That's it for today. It wasn't a great day, and even G's smiles after puking in my mouth didn't cheer me up too much. Here's to a better tomorrow.

Bedtime

Establishing a proper and regular bedtime is extremely difficult. Right now, G's bedtime is at 7-9 pm. This means that we wind things down at 7, give her a bottle at some point and hope that she's asleep by 9. This is really not a great method. I was talking to my cousin whose baby is about a month and half older than G, and she has his life down to a science. He eats at the exactly same times each day and goes to sleep on time every night. I don't know how she did it. Maybe if it was just G and I alone I would be more strict, but as it is B is home too and there's no real need to stick to a regimented schedule.

In the early, breastfeeding days, everything was on me. Every two hours I had to wake up and feed G. Once we started supplementing, B and I took turns sleeping. I would go to bed around 6 or 7 pm and wake up at 3 am so that B could sleep. At the beginning of October we began to sleep together again, waking up at the same time when G started fussing. That method meant that both of us were exhausted all the time, but G had to learn to sleep at night and taking turns sleeping meant that B and I were keeping her out of her bed, thus training her to only sleep in our arms. Thank goodness those days are done.

Lately, G has been sleeping through the night. She'll typically wake up around 3am to fuss a bit, but she either self-soothes or we pop her sucky back in her mouth and she's back to dreamland. The bad thing about this, is that after she goes to bed we want to stay up and hang out and do all the things we can't do when she's awake. As a result we've been staying up far too late and getting far too little sleep. I've noticed that I am feeling the effects of lack of sleep much more keenly than B. I think it has to do with being a woman, honestly. I've got that monthly visitor and am just starting on birth control and I feel a wreck. B and usually get the same amount of sleep, but I find myself crashing midday, begging him to take G so I can nap for an hour. B doesn't mind of course, but I always feel a little bad leaving him alone so I can sleep. We take turns hanging with G during the day so that the other can have some lone time, so when one of us has to cut into what could have been the other one's alone time, we always feel a little badly.

G's pretty tired today so we're hoping she goes down pretty quickly tonight. She fell asleep at the dinner table tonight after filling her diaper, and we played with her for a few hours this afternoon. She's rolling over! :D I think it'll be a good night. I'm planning on going to bed early, and hopefully I get enough sleep for once.

Owies

Anytime G gets an owie it really breaks my heart. Her very first boo-boo was caused by me: I was clipping those teeny nails when she was about a week and a half old, and I nipped the tip of her thumb. It started bleeding, she started screaming and I started crying. I gave her a hug and she was all good, but man...I felt SO terrible. I've done that twice more since then (different digits), but seeing her get hurt does not get easier.

When babies get hurt, it's usually because of something the grownup has done. G isn't capable of crawling around bashing her head on tables yet. She occasionally scratches her face (and mine!) but that is not the same as when you're holding her in the tub and she bashes her head on the faucet. No owie of G's has ever left a lasting mark, thank goodness, but it does torment us as parents.

You can't always prevent your little one from getting hurt. It happens, babies are durable, and you just need to roll with it. It breaks your heart, but babies are forgiving! The day I nipped her thumb all it took was a Mama's hug to make little G feel better. Babies love their parents SO much. It was really difficult to forgive myself for clipping her skin, but once I did I felt so much better. I don't want her to have owies, but I am looking forward to the day when she asks me to kiss them better.

Birth

WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT IN SECTION 4!

It is so exciting to me that I can share my birth story with my friends. Personally, I didn't have any friends who had babies who I could go to for help. Shockingly, neither mine or B's moms were much help. Mom's are supposed to be able to help with everything! Now I'm going to type out my story here so I can remember it and so that others can take from it what they will.

1. Pregnancy
How did I know? Well there was the obvious sign: lack of the monthly curse. But I'd been late before. The thing that really tipped me off was suddenly my bippity boppities became bazingbazongas! And those new big boobs HURT. Oh my stars, did they hurt. It was painful to wear even a loose t-shirt. We took two tests to confirm, and sure enough I was pregnant. It was so surreal, finding out. I didn't really know what to think or what to do. I wanted to tell EVERYONE, but that was not an option yet. And it was nice having such an amazing secret for a while.

I was sick for about 3 and a half months. It was pretty bad - I lost 20lbs, but fortunately I had some extra padding to begin with so I didn't become dangerously thin or anything. When I was finally able to eat again it was such a relief. Poutines and Buffalo Wings and Twix Bars! That's what I craved. Yes, I had to pee 24/7. And then some. I was going constantly. It's so nice now not having to tinkle every 5 seconds.

I slept a lot. Like, A LOT. I recommend that to anyone pregnant. Sleep as much as you possibly can. It's good for you and the baby, and honestly it just feels good. Keep in shape too. I'm in way better shape now than I was before I got preggers.

2. Labour
Started at 4am on Thursday the 12th. I woke up with a strange pressure in my abdomen. Unlike anything I'd ever felt before. It didn't hurt and it wasn't uncomfortable yet, but I knew that maybe this was something special. I woke B and we timed these odd pressures and they were roughly 7-12 minutes apart. We had a doctor appointment at 10:30 that morning so we weren't too worried about calling him or rushing off to the hospital. I wasn't in pain and I was 2 weeks before my due date. We didn't end up falling asleep again, unfortunately.

Doc said it was likely Braxton Hicks, but sent us to the hospital to do a non stress test. They hooked me up for about an hour and a bit. The contractions were fairly irregular so I was sent home. They didn't check to see if I was dilated, and in hindsight I think they probably should have. I would not have been far AT ALL, but it may have given us a better idea of what was going on. Maybe? I don't know. It doesn't matter now.

We went home and i managed to have a nap through the contractions which by that time, around 2 in the afternoon) were starting to increase in pressure. By this time the pressure was moving from strictly my abdomen to in my lower back. I'd read about back labour but never imagined I'd experience it. Because it was back labour, I was unsure if the contractions were even really contractions. There was no good description of back labour and my stomach was not visibly contracting like the internet told me it would. By 6pm I was really feeling uncomfortable. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand and I couldn't lay down. I ended up on my side on the futon with a heating pad on my back. Heat definitely helped repress the discomfort. I wasn't in pain yet, but the pressure was increasing pretty quickly.

We tried to go to bed that night but I could not sleep. From midnight to about two we timed the contractions which ranged from 4-9 minutes. At two I made the decision that we should go to the hospital. When I got up out of bed a contraction hit me. I crawled out of the bedroom. The contractions would occur when I was laying down, but whenever I stood up they hit me instantly whether it was time for another one or not. I had to crawl out of the house though I was able to make it to the car walking.

3. Hospital
A security guard met us at the door and then was so kind and wheeled me up to our floor. His own wife was expecting in a couple months (wonder what she had?)We went for another non stress test and though the contractions weren't close enough together (and still irregular) they allowed us to just stay in that room. B attempted to sleep on a cot while I attempted to ignore the contractions up on the bed. Now they were painful. Each one would hit me and I'd grip the blankets in my hands and arch my back and stretch or twist my legs. Around 6am a nurse came in to check my dilation and I think I was at 5cm. I don't remember now (I was kinda distracted). My water hadn't broken but I'd passed a nasty mucus plug. GOSH that was disgusting. They definitely don't mention that in the movies. Oh! I also had to throw up at one point. Thankfully a family friend had warned me about that one.

4. Delivery
I hobbled to the delivery room where I got to have a bath. It was not relaxing but it was only the second bath of my entire pregnancy. Yeah. To you who are reading this: Take baths and take them often. You will not regret it. Bathing while pregnant is so darn nice. Make sure you have a husband near by to help you out of the tub though! I was not up to the task of hauling my rounded body outta that tub. I was given Demerol just before my bath but it did nothing other than make me sleepy. Once out of the tub I was able to catch sleep between contractions but obviously it wasn't restful or long enough. They checked my dilation again and I think I was at 8 or 9. It had happened FAST. The nurse couldn't believe it. She and the other nurses started prepping the room pretty quickly and helped me through the contractions. It was so painful and uncomfortable and they kept telling me to breathe but I didn't wanna. I just wanted to hold my breath til the pain went away.

Around 9am they called the doctor, and he made it just in time. The nurse gave me the gas to breathe in and while it didn't help with the pain, it made me completely loopy. I tried to tell B something about the labour and completely forgot to open my mouth. So he just heard mumbling. He was an excellent water boy, by the way. Whenever I was thirsty I just turned my head to him and opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue and within seconds there was a straw in my mouth. My water had to be broken at some point, but I don't remember it happening. Also, pooping on the delivery bed? Yeah that's definitely a real thing.

I pushed for 20 minutes. That wasn't too bad (not as bad as I thought, anyway). The bad part was the nurse stretching me open. THAT SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!! I pushed pushed pushed. The worse part of pushing was when G's head was almost out but not quite and then I would push and her head would come out a little but then would go back in when the contraction ended. As I pushed the nurse was constantly telling me to pull my legs to my body but I couldn't! It was impossible. In the end she had to pull one and B had to pull the other. Thanks to their assistance though, G was born and the contractions stopped instantly. What. A. Relief. (Placenta delivery was nasty...I won't talk about that unless asked)

5. BABY!
G was born! 6lbs 1oz. She didn't cry at all. One little squeal when the nurse coaxed her to. She was pale pale pale, but healthy! Her head wasn't too misshapen and she was honestly the cleanest infant I'd ever seen. Typically when you see babies born they are completely nasty and goopy and just gross but she had hardly anything on her. She wasn't red and blotchy either. Just beautiful! While the nurses cleaned and wrapped her I turned to B and asked, "What the HECK did I just do?!?!?" They put her in my arms and I looked at her and she was perfect and I loved her.

And that's the story of G's birth. Questions about anything and everything related to the topic of pregnancy and labour and delivery are welcome!

Here's to hoping I never write about something this gross again. Cheers!

Photo by vanwalk:photography www.vanwalkphotography.com

Sleep, Dangit!

G would not go to sleep tonight. She screamed and cried and laughed and tooted and puked. We rocked her, bounced her, sang to her, talked to her, played with her, scolded her, fed her, burped her. It was all to no avail. For nearly 3 hours we tried to get her to go to sleep. And when she did finally drift off it was fitful for another hour an a half. The poor thing was so utterly tired but just refused to go to sleep. It's tough being a parent in times like these. No matter how much patience I have, it's still frustrating. When she acts contrary to everything we want her to do, it's hard to keep our cool. She just started on a regular bedtime and I look forward to hanging out by myself or with B for a couple of hours but tonight G was determined to mess with us. We made it through this though. She's sound asleep now and we're relaxing; B's playing Assassin's Creed III and I'm watching Canada's Handyman Challenge and Pinteresting. Here's to tomorrow night going MUCH better. Cheers!

Smiley Pants

One of my favourite things about G is that when she first wakes up in the morning and I peek into her playpen, she sees me and smiles her face off. Her eyes light up, her smile stretches across that chubby face and she squeals with delight. It's a pretty darn good feeling having someone that happy to see you first thing in the morning. She's such a good baby and I love her to bits. Plain and simple, being someone's mother is hard. My little someone gets cranky, or poopy and just difficult and I don't know what to do. It's hard learning to think of this little person first in all situations, rather than just oneself. It does come naturally, but getting used to it has been an interesting experience. G is an amazing baby and worth going through the difficulties that come with learning to be her Mummy. She's going to start teething soon. Her cheeks are rosy and she's been quite fussy and noms anything that comes into reach of her mouth. Teething is a nightmare, apparently, and even though she hasn't quite started yet, things are already descending into a bit of madness. Thankfully B is here. We are unequivocally a parenting team. Since day one, even though I was breastfeeding (which he obviously can't help with), we have worked together without fail. He's there for me and I'm there for him and we're both always there for G. I read other mommy blogs out there and it really seems like the husband is more of an uncle than a father. You don't ask your hubbie to babysit his own child...that's just weird. I am fully aware that I am completely blessed to have B with me 24/7. I guess that's it for this first post. I have G on my lap right now and that makes typing extremely difficult. Here's to maintaining this blog! Cheers!