FINALLY changed my background. I'd been meaning to do so since I began this darn thing, but just hadn't gotten around to it yet. The image is one that I drew myself. I cropped it, changed the colour with the computer and here it is. I also use it as the background on my tumblr: http://shortonheight.tumblr.com/
Anyways, just mentioning how pretty the background is now, if I do say so myself.
Also, G is sitting by herself, never stops talking, and loves to shriek with happiness allllll day long. I frequently have a headache these days, but she's so darn cute that I don't really mind.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Clean
I'm just going to say it: I am a recovering hoarder.
If you ever visited our apartment in Saskatoon, you will know that I am not a neat freak. I had clutter everywhere. But you know what? That was not the worst I've been, by far.
As a teenager, I became incredibly messy. My room never had a floor and I'm not exaggerating. There would be a small footpath leading to my bed and that was it. Clothes and old toys and books and magazines would be strewn everywhere. My mom was constantly at me to tidy up and I would do it halfheartedly, but really I just didn't care. If you've been to the place we lived in Maple Creek, you would know that I had two huge closets in my bedroom. And you know what? They were both FULL of junk. Junk piled upon junk, spilling out of the doors. My friend A would come over pretty frequently and was constantly rolling her eyes at me and always tried to encourage me to do better. And maybe I would have done better if my life in MC hadn't been so bloody difficult. The ages of 11-17 were dark years for me and maybe that contributed to some of my problems.
We moved to GP and I was optimistic. New room, new start. I unpacked and organized all my things and my room looked really great. It looked like the room of a responsible 18 year old woman, just beginning her journey into adulthood and wanting to be taken more seriously by her parents. But then I couldn't get a job. And my dark days returned, though to a much lesser extant than when I was in MC (having the love of my life around helped considerably). My room began to clutter and once more my floor disappeared.
Then I did get a job, at the Thrift Store. This did NOT help. I had a staff 50% discount which killed me. My room rapidly filled with books, books, books! And mountains of clothes. I was honestly addicted. Every single day of work, I came home with a full bag of stuff. It was bad. The mess in my room grew. I was constantly tripping over things. When the phone rang, I had to maneuver over piles of stuff that were near 2 feet high. I'm not exaggerating! That is how bad it was. There was not a single empty surface in that bedroom. Frankly, it was embarrassing. I'm ashamed of the way I was. When I moved from GP to SK, I purged. Garbage bag after garbage bag after garbage bag went out my door. Most things were donated BACK to the Thrift Store. I couldn't believe what I had let myself become.
Things were better in Saskatoon, but I was just recovering from this previous life of being an absolute slob. It was hard to get out of the old habits, and although my apartment was less than pristine, I was proud of my progress. It was still hard to have people over sometimes, knowing they'd know I was messy, but that's who I was. They were my friends and I knew they would still be my friends.
Having G has changed me for the better. I now WANT to be tidy, and it doesn't take as much effort. I need a clean floor so that G can roll around and be safe and comfortable. I need a clean floor for myself, as well. My stress level decreases when my home is tidy and that is definitely a good thing because in MJ I am constantly stressed.
When we move back to Saskatoon, I will do even better. I will live in a home that looks like it belongs to an adult couple with a baby, not a home that looks like it belongs to frat boys. I am certain that I can do this.
I can be tidy and I WILL be tidy.
If you ever visited our apartment in Saskatoon, you will know that I am not a neat freak. I had clutter everywhere. But you know what? That was not the worst I've been, by far.
As a teenager, I became incredibly messy. My room never had a floor and I'm not exaggerating. There would be a small footpath leading to my bed and that was it. Clothes and old toys and books and magazines would be strewn everywhere. My mom was constantly at me to tidy up and I would do it halfheartedly, but really I just didn't care. If you've been to the place we lived in Maple Creek, you would know that I had two huge closets in my bedroom. And you know what? They were both FULL of junk. Junk piled upon junk, spilling out of the doors. My friend A would come over pretty frequently and was constantly rolling her eyes at me and always tried to encourage me to do better. And maybe I would have done better if my life in MC hadn't been so bloody difficult. The ages of 11-17 were dark years for me and maybe that contributed to some of my problems.
We moved to GP and I was optimistic. New room, new start. I unpacked and organized all my things and my room looked really great. It looked like the room of a responsible 18 year old woman, just beginning her journey into adulthood and wanting to be taken more seriously by her parents. But then I couldn't get a job. And my dark days returned, though to a much lesser extant than when I was in MC (having the love of my life around helped considerably). My room began to clutter and once more my floor disappeared.
Then I did get a job, at the Thrift Store. This did NOT help. I had a staff 50% discount which killed me. My room rapidly filled with books, books, books! And mountains of clothes. I was honestly addicted. Every single day of work, I came home with a full bag of stuff. It was bad. The mess in my room grew. I was constantly tripping over things. When the phone rang, I had to maneuver over piles of stuff that were near 2 feet high. I'm not exaggerating! That is how bad it was. There was not a single empty surface in that bedroom. Frankly, it was embarrassing. I'm ashamed of the way I was. When I moved from GP to SK, I purged. Garbage bag after garbage bag after garbage bag went out my door. Most things were donated BACK to the Thrift Store. I couldn't believe what I had let myself become.
Things were better in Saskatoon, but I was just recovering from this previous life of being an absolute slob. It was hard to get out of the old habits, and although my apartment was less than pristine, I was proud of my progress. It was still hard to have people over sometimes, knowing they'd know I was messy, but that's who I was. They were my friends and I knew they would still be my friends.
Having G has changed me for the better. I now WANT to be tidy, and it doesn't take as much effort. I need a clean floor so that G can roll around and be safe and comfortable. I need a clean floor for myself, as well. My stress level decreases when my home is tidy and that is definitely a good thing because in MJ I am constantly stressed.
When we move back to Saskatoon, I will do even better. I will live in a home that looks like it belongs to an adult couple with a baby, not a home that looks like it belongs to frat boys. I am certain that I can do this.
I can be tidy and I WILL be tidy.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Something to Think On...
B and I have been talking a lot about our eventual return to Saskatoon, and one of the main topics of discussion is where we will live. Our original intent was to go halfsies on a place with B's cousin and her boyfriend, but I really don't see that happening. For one, we haven't talked with them about it in any depth and when we have mentioned it they haven't seemed as on board as us, and for another we don't want to waste money renting.
The other day though, B came up with a great idea: buy a mobile home. This means living in a trailer park, which is something I'd never pictured myself doing, but it also means that we would own our own home and would have it payed off in less than ten years. Mortgage would be less than our ideal rent and our ideal rent is $700. We were looking at mobile homes online and there are some pretty darn nice ones. If we get the mortgage we want, we would even have money left over to invest in some new furniture and paint and trimmings.
I really hope this works out. I want a home of my own, and if it has to be a place outside my box, then so be it. I want to 'play' housewife again, properly. I want to have command of my own kitchen so that I can experiment and become a better cook (btw: I made sweet potato fries today in the oven, and a dip from scratch and both knocked our socks off!). I want to cook dinner most nights and have it hot and waiting for when B comes home from work. I want to snuggle on the couch with G in the mornings, watching Spongebob in our jammies. I want to decorate her room the way I want - this is EXTREMELY important to me, as I completely missed out on creating a nursery for her during my pregnancy, which has been something I've been filled with regret about. I want to decorate and make the place nice. I want to have friends over for dinner and feed them food that I made on my own dishes at a new kitchen table. I want to walk around without a bra again! I want to be able to dash naked from the bathroom to the bedroom if I forget my clothes or my towel or whatever. I want to be able to go into the kitchen at 3am and rustle up some mac and cheese and leave the dishes as long as I want because it won't effect anyone else. I want to start a real, grownup life with my little family and take care of them and have them take care of me, and hang out with our friends and just live a life that is not stressful anymore.
Hopefully things work out and we can achieve all of this.
Now, I wasn't intending to talk about this, but now that I've mentioned those sweet potato fries I may as well tell you about them. It's not an elegant recipe by far, but I may as well write it down so at the very least I'll remember it for next time.
1 sweet potato, chopped in half and then lengthwise to make fries
Onion powder
Seasoning Salt
Salt
Oil
Toss the sweet potatoes in the oil (not too much, I hate oily taste) and season them to taste with the onion powder and seasoning salt. Lay them on a cookie sheet (I line mine with tin foil to avoid messes), carefully not to overlap them (it took two sheets for me). Preheat the oven to about 400, and then heat them for about 30 minutes, flipping them halfway. The recipe I was using as a guideline said to heat the oven to 450 and that was way too hot, and half of them ended up burnt.
Dip:
Mayo
Sour Cream
Cayenne
Onion Powder
Horse Radish
Seasoning Salt
No measurements, I was experimenting. A few globs of mayo, mixed with a couple globs of sour cream. Mixed those together and then added some cayenne (just enough to give a slight nippy aftertaste), a bit of onion powder, the seasoning salt and a tiny bit of horse radish. Mixed it all together and it was sooo good.
The other day though, B came up with a great idea: buy a mobile home. This means living in a trailer park, which is something I'd never pictured myself doing, but it also means that we would own our own home and would have it payed off in less than ten years. Mortgage would be less than our ideal rent and our ideal rent is $700. We were looking at mobile homes online and there are some pretty darn nice ones. If we get the mortgage we want, we would even have money left over to invest in some new furniture and paint and trimmings.
I really hope this works out. I want a home of my own, and if it has to be a place outside my box, then so be it. I want to 'play' housewife again, properly. I want to have command of my own kitchen so that I can experiment and become a better cook (btw: I made sweet potato fries today in the oven, and a dip from scratch and both knocked our socks off!). I want to cook dinner most nights and have it hot and waiting for when B comes home from work. I want to snuggle on the couch with G in the mornings, watching Spongebob in our jammies. I want to decorate her room the way I want - this is EXTREMELY important to me, as I completely missed out on creating a nursery for her during my pregnancy, which has been something I've been filled with regret about. I want to decorate and make the place nice. I want to have friends over for dinner and feed them food that I made on my own dishes at a new kitchen table. I want to walk around without a bra again! I want to be able to dash naked from the bathroom to the bedroom if I forget my clothes or my towel or whatever. I want to be able to go into the kitchen at 3am and rustle up some mac and cheese and leave the dishes as long as I want because it won't effect anyone else. I want to start a real, grownup life with my little family and take care of them and have them take care of me, and hang out with our friends and just live a life that is not stressful anymore.
Hopefully things work out and we can achieve all of this.
Now, I wasn't intending to talk about this, but now that I've mentioned those sweet potato fries I may as well tell you about them. It's not an elegant recipe by far, but I may as well write it down so at the very least I'll remember it for next time.
1 sweet potato, chopped in half and then lengthwise to make fries
Onion powder
Seasoning Salt
Salt
Oil
Toss the sweet potatoes in the oil (not too much, I hate oily taste) and season them to taste with the onion powder and seasoning salt. Lay them on a cookie sheet (I line mine with tin foil to avoid messes), carefully not to overlap them (it took two sheets for me). Preheat the oven to about 400, and then heat them for about 30 minutes, flipping them halfway. The recipe I was using as a guideline said to heat the oven to 450 and that was way too hot, and half of them ended up burnt.
Dip:
Mayo
Sour Cream
Cayenne
Onion Powder
Horse Radish
Seasoning Salt
No measurements, I was experimenting. A few globs of mayo, mixed with a couple globs of sour cream. Mixed those together and then added some cayenne (just enough to give a slight nippy aftertaste), a bit of onion powder, the seasoning salt and a tiny bit of horse radish. Mixed it all together and it was sooo good.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Being G's Mom
Lately, I think due to the fact that there have been so many strangers holding her all the time, G has become increasingly attached to me. I'm the one she wants when she cries and when I leave the room, she is temporarily (thankfully) fussy. This morning she screamed for probably almost two hours and there was nothing B could do to help her. Finally he came and woke me from my nap and almost the instant she was placed in my arms she quieted down and rested her head on my shoulder. I love being that person for her, being able to comfort and calm her just by holding her or singing the Star Trek theme, but I feel bad that B can't do it too.
I think a lot of it has to do with boobs. Moms are more comfortable and a big reason is because we're the ones with the boobs. At first, they're the feed bags and the baby loves the smell of them and the knowledge that food will come out. Then because baby has grown so close to mom through feeding (if you breast feed...but I get the feeling there's also a very strong bond if you don't because of the pregnancy), that just her normal smells and feeling are comfortable. Resting that heavy head on that squishy chest is relaxing (just ask any husband) and they are also a useful tool. G has the problem of very dry, flaky skin. This means that she is constantly scratching her face and head. Sometimes this is problematic at feeding times, but because I am a lady I can tuck one arm comfortable under my boob and hold her other hand still while I feed her. It's perfect. B can't do that. If he tucks her arm, it's uncomfortable for both. I feel bad that guys just aren't physically capable of making the same connection as women are.
In Other News:
Lately, G has been screaming her head off when she's having a good time, a bad time, or an in between time. She shrieked during church several times last week. The other day she was in the exersaucer screaming at a flower. Another thing she's been doing lately is really toying with my emotions, and it's saying, "mum mum mum mum" when she wants something. She is most assuredly saying 'mum' but she doesn't realize that it is a real word. I think she's aware that by saying it she will get something, and more often than not I will go pick her up or kiss her or feed her, but I don't think it has clicked that I am mum. Every time she says it, my heart kinda leaps and I think, "Oh my gosh!! She knows my name!" But then I remember that she doesn't and I just feel sad. The fact that she does it while fussing or crying doesn't help. It's cute as heck though. I love that kid.
New Years Resolutions are going ok so far. I'm not changing my eating habits yet and I likely won't until I'm in my own home cooking my own meals in my own kitchen, which won't be for several months at least yet. I'm not concerned about this though. I have all year and I'm not pressuring myself. I have successfully been avoiding chips though. It's only been three days, but my brother cracked open a bag of sour cream and onion chips and both B and I were drooling over them. We abstained though, and are victorious thus far.
Les Miserables. Go. See. It. Now. It was so good. I loved it. It was perfect. I can't wait to see it again.
Now that January has begun, I'm beginning to get nervous because I know that my time in BC will come to an end soon (and by soon I mean in maybe a month). I don't want to go back! This place has done wonders for me. I take headache medicine waaaay less, and I'm eating more and sleeping better and am happier. B noticed a difference in me within the first week we were here. I've been cooking! And the time with my family has just been wonderful. I love my parents and bro and sis so much.
I think that's it for now. Just felt like dumping some information. Good evening!
I think a lot of it has to do with boobs. Moms are more comfortable and a big reason is because we're the ones with the boobs. At first, they're the feed bags and the baby loves the smell of them and the knowledge that food will come out. Then because baby has grown so close to mom through feeding (if you breast feed...but I get the feeling there's also a very strong bond if you don't because of the pregnancy), that just her normal smells and feeling are comfortable. Resting that heavy head on that squishy chest is relaxing (just ask any husband) and they are also a useful tool. G has the problem of very dry, flaky skin. This means that she is constantly scratching her face and head. Sometimes this is problematic at feeding times, but because I am a lady I can tuck one arm comfortable under my boob and hold her other hand still while I feed her. It's perfect. B can't do that. If he tucks her arm, it's uncomfortable for both. I feel bad that guys just aren't physically capable of making the same connection as women are.
In Other News:
Lately, G has been screaming her head off when she's having a good time, a bad time, or an in between time. She shrieked during church several times last week. The other day she was in the exersaucer screaming at a flower. Another thing she's been doing lately is really toying with my emotions, and it's saying, "mum mum mum mum" when she wants something. She is most assuredly saying 'mum' but she doesn't realize that it is a real word. I think she's aware that by saying it she will get something, and more often than not I will go pick her up or kiss her or feed her, but I don't think it has clicked that I am mum. Every time she says it, my heart kinda leaps and I think, "Oh my gosh!! She knows my name!" But then I remember that she doesn't and I just feel sad. The fact that she does it while fussing or crying doesn't help. It's cute as heck though. I love that kid.
New Years Resolutions are going ok so far. I'm not changing my eating habits yet and I likely won't until I'm in my own home cooking my own meals in my own kitchen, which won't be for several months at least yet. I'm not concerned about this though. I have all year and I'm not pressuring myself. I have successfully been avoiding chips though. It's only been three days, but my brother cracked open a bag of sour cream and onion chips and both B and I were drooling over them. We abstained though, and are victorious thus far.
Les Miserables. Go. See. It. Now. It was so good. I loved it. It was perfect. I can't wait to see it again.
Now that January has begun, I'm beginning to get nervous because I know that my time in BC will come to an end soon (and by soon I mean in maybe a month). I don't want to go back! This place has done wonders for me. I take headache medicine waaaay less, and I'm eating more and sleeping better and am happier. B noticed a difference in me within the first week we were here. I've been cooking! And the time with my family has just been wonderful. I love my parents and bro and sis so much.
I think that's it for now. Just felt like dumping some information. Good evening!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
A New Year
Happy New Year!
We rang in the new year here in BC by playing circle rummy with my parents and sister. G woke up at ten to midnight so she got lots of kisses when the clock struck twelve. B and I then went to bed and talked about our resolutions and now I'm going to write about mine here.
1. Lose 30lbs
I feel this is truly attainable if I keep at it. I need to do this so that I can get healthy, so that I can be more active with my daughter and so that I can feel better about myself.
2. No Potato Chips
This one will be hard for me and I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't make it all year. The reason I spepotatocify chips is because it's unrealistic to add nacho chips as that is sometimes an entire meal. In the past year I ate much less chips than I normally do, but there were definitely times when I craved them and stuffed my face with them. Not so this year, hopefully! B is joining me in this endeavor.
3. Get Closer to God
This is an important goal and one I strive for every year. I am hoping that by teaching G about God it will be teach me too. I need to make it a point to remember to pray with her every night, something that slips my mind all too often.
4. Get Well
With the exception of a few things (the joy of having a baby, seeing my family, a few little things), 2012 was not a good year for me. I am not well mentally or emotionally the way I should be and that can be attributed to a number of factors. First, having a baby wrecks you. I'm so happy to have G and I love her so much, but it has been really difficult to bounce back. I've never had such low self esteem and I find it very hard to deal with the little things that come my way each day. I break down far too quickly and I am constantly having to go to B for reassurance that I AM a good wife or a good mother or a good person. Being positive and happy go lucky again is something I really want and I'm going to work really hard at it this year.
5. Read More/Read More to Ginny
I did not read nearly enough in 2012. Usually I read somewhere in the neighbourhood of 50-80 books a year (and that's 90% novels). Reading is obviously something huge in my life; I love love love to read. And I'm going to brag here: I'm GOOD at reading. I can read all 9 Little House on the Prairie books in 1 day. Anyways, because of the pregnancy and then the birth of G my book intake severely declined. I do have the time to read with G around, but I find that when I'm not hanging out with her I want to just do something mindless like watch TV. So! I WILL read more!
6. Keep a Food Journal
In my quest to lose 30lbs I feel like this is important. Even if I don't keep it up all year, just having an idea of what kind of crap I'm eating will be a good thing to keep handy. B is also joining me in this one too.
7. Purge Stuff/Move
We don't know for absolutely 100% sure if we can move to Saskatoon, but it's a huge goal we would love to achieve. Whether we move or not though, I want to get rid of a lot of our junk. It's so hard to let go of stuff, but I'm determined to do it.
And those are my goal for this new year of 2013. I hope I can attain these, and I hope that you can attain whatever goals you've set for yourself. Happy New Year!
We rang in the new year here in BC by playing circle rummy with my parents and sister. G woke up at ten to midnight so she got lots of kisses when the clock struck twelve. B and I then went to bed and talked about our resolutions and now I'm going to write about mine here.
1. Lose 30lbs
I feel this is truly attainable if I keep at it. I need to do this so that I can get healthy, so that I can be more active with my daughter and so that I can feel better about myself.
2. No Potato Chips
This one will be hard for me and I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't make it all year. The reason I spepotatocify chips is because it's unrealistic to add nacho chips as that is sometimes an entire meal. In the past year I ate much less chips than I normally do, but there were definitely times when I craved them and stuffed my face with them. Not so this year, hopefully! B is joining me in this endeavor.
3. Get Closer to God
This is an important goal and one I strive for every year. I am hoping that by teaching G about God it will be teach me too. I need to make it a point to remember to pray with her every night, something that slips my mind all too often.
4. Get Well
With the exception of a few things (the joy of having a baby, seeing my family, a few little things), 2012 was not a good year for me. I am not well mentally or emotionally the way I should be and that can be attributed to a number of factors. First, having a baby wrecks you. I'm so happy to have G and I love her so much, but it has been really difficult to bounce back. I've never had such low self esteem and I find it very hard to deal with the little things that come my way each day. I break down far too quickly and I am constantly having to go to B for reassurance that I AM a good wife or a good mother or a good person. Being positive and happy go lucky again is something I really want and I'm going to work really hard at it this year.
5. Read More/Read More to Ginny
I did not read nearly enough in 2012. Usually I read somewhere in the neighbourhood of 50-80 books a year (and that's 90% novels). Reading is obviously something huge in my life; I love love love to read. And I'm going to brag here: I'm GOOD at reading. I can read all 9 Little House on the Prairie books in 1 day. Anyways, because of the pregnancy and then the birth of G my book intake severely declined. I do have the time to read with G around, but I find that when I'm not hanging out with her I want to just do something mindless like watch TV. So! I WILL read more!
6. Keep a Food Journal
In my quest to lose 30lbs I feel like this is important. Even if I don't keep it up all year, just having an idea of what kind of crap I'm eating will be a good thing to keep handy. B is also joining me in this one too.
7. Purge Stuff/Move
We don't know for absolutely 100% sure if we can move to Saskatoon, but it's a huge goal we would love to achieve. Whether we move or not though, I want to get rid of a lot of our junk. It's so hard to let go of stuff, but I'm determined to do it.
And those are my goal for this new year of 2013. I hope I can attain these, and I hope that you can attain whatever goals you've set for yourself. Happy New Year!
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